It had been 5 years. Missing was a word far from what I felt. I was more than desperate to see him. ‘Would he be glad to see me too?’ I thought. I didn’t care anymore. I loved him so much that i wanted to see him even if he didn’t want to see me. I am married, but yet his place was never taken and never will be taken. I was blessed to have a husband who respected my feelings and understood me rather than feeling jealous.
I never understood the depth of my love until I hadn’t met him for 5 years. His eyes, his nose, his smile! and tears ran down my cheeks. I was not sad but rather excited and impatient. My husband looked at me and understood my desperation. He slowly patted my back and smiled. ‘Soon,’ he said with an understanding smile.
I could hear my heart beat faster. I didn’t care about where i was, who saw me, nothing! All I wanted was to run into his arms and cry my hearts out and tell him how much I missed him. I didn’t even try to look my best because all i cared about was to see him, even if I didn’t look good at all.
As I stood there waiting, I heard his voice in my head. ‘Come fast, come fast,’ it said repeatedly. I became restless. I felt like I was losing my sanity because now i was hearing him inside my head. My husband held my hand and showed me a queue. Tears filled my eyes, and i ran to it. I knew i would meet him at the end of it. It felt like a decade as the queue moved slowly. My desperation just grew with every step i took closer to him. My heart was beating so loud, and my eyes were tearing up.
Finally, i was just a step away to get a glimpse of him. My breath felt heavy, and I could feel my face flush heat. I took that step, and there he was, looking right at me. I could feel the desperation in his eyes, too. He missed me, too. I can see it. I can feel it. As i moved closer to him step by step, our eyes locked. We couldn’t look away even for a second. All I could whisper as i moved closer to him was, ‘ I have come, Krishna!I have come’ while everyone around me chanted ‘hare krishna’. I burst into tears while I was the closest to him. I couldn’t hug him even when both of us wanted to. But yet, i met him after 5 long years. I met my Guruvayoor appan finally after the long wait!